Got to tell you privately about a little incident that happened down at the crag a few weeks back. I had this brill idea of taking a little portable atmospheric to get me and my partner and whoever else was down there in the mood. [I know, you are suddenly thinking: WTF why has no-one thought of that before!] So we got down there, and it was pretty busy with a few other pairs at it, but all quiet and, it has to be said, a little miserable. So I flicked through my CDs which I’d stashed in my crag-bag too and popped the best of Bon Jovi on and just went for it with the volume. Me and my mate were obviously dialled on it and we basically skipped the warm up and went straight for it. But we had got nowhere when this guy comes over and says it’s ‘outrageous’ and we are ‘inconsiderate’ or something and he just turns the f!cking knob down without even asking. And of course, normally, I’d clock someone like that but what can I do when I’m belaying my buddy, I’m just stuck there (although he’s not actually on the climb at that point). And anyway there’s this hippy sh!t that everyone seems to go along with that climbers are all nice to each other [a lot of w!nk that is, though no-one will say it]. So I was basically powerless. Long and the short of it being that I carried the boombox down for nothing. I got my own back with a bit of verbal guitar [you know where you pretend to be a guitar by singing dar nar nar….], but it wasn’t much payback, and it has got to be said that the crankmeister and his trusted companion were pretty hacked off. Well, I feel better for telling you, and I sort of like the title, ‘liftmusic’.